For my amazing husband, Eric, Father’s Day will never be the same. A holiday that is meant to honor him as the world’s best father, now feels ⅓ empty and dark. I’m sure Mother’s Day will soon feel the same way to me.

As christians, we understand full well that our children belong to the Lord. Our job on earth is to raise them to love Jesus and share the gospel with others, but they are only lent to us for a short time. I wish desperately that we would’ve had our “turn” with Harper, but Jesus wanted her for himself. I guess I can’t blame Him.

During the 8 hours that we had with Harper, I grieved more for what Eric would miss with our baby girl than anything else. Saying he was excited to raise a daughter was an understatement. As our time with her was nearing its end, I asked our nurse if the hospital had a chapel and if we could take a walk down to it. It may sound silly, but I needed Eric to walk his daughter down the aisle...and this was as close as we were going to get.

The aisle was maybe 10 feet long and the decor was not exactly fit for a “wedding,” but for us it was perfect. I handed Harper to Eric and found a pretty awful rendition of Here Comes the Bride on Youtube. Eric started walking down the aisle with his baby girl and we both lost it completely. How different that walk had turned out to be. Nothing at all how we had imagined, but perfect in it’s own way.

Looking back, arranging that moment for Eric is one of the best decisions I have ever made.

Thank you, Lord, for giving me the peace of mind in that moment to ask about a hospital chapel.

Thank you, Eric, for being everything our family has needed and more. You are the perfect father for our boys, and I know you would have been the perfect father for Harper as well. I love you. ❤️ 
#harperjanevanhal #rememberharper

-A