I have a shirt hanging in my closet with the words "Blessed With Boys" on the front in large letters. It has always been one of my favorite shirts to wear- it's soft, not too tight, and has a great message. I remember putting it on a few days after we lost Harper, but I just couldn't do it. I wanted to be blessed with boys AND my baby girl. Even though I believe I am blessed to have Harper in heaven, I wanted to be blessed with her here on Earth. 

I'm embarrassed to admit that I've always been a 'glass half empty' kind of girl instead of the 'glass half full' type. And yet, I am reminded daily just how truly 'blessed with boys' I am. My boys bring laughter and joy into my heart in the midst of my deepest grief. They give me a reason to get out of bed in the morning- usually to make them breakfast or change a dirty diaper. 

If you are a parent, you understand the special love I have for my boys. If you are a parent who has lost a child and is still raising one here on Earth, you understand how much more I am able to cherish my boys now. I am able to love them with a deeper love than I've ever known. Deeper than the love I had for them when I found out I was pregnant with them. Deeper than the love I had for them the day they were born.

I know better now than ever before- I am blessed with boys.  

-A