BLESSED WITH BOYS

BLESSED WITH BOYS

I have a shirt hanging in my closet with the words "Blessed With Boys" on the front in large letters. It has always been one of my favorite shirts to wear- it's soft, not too tight, and has a great message. I remember putting it on a few days after we lost Harper, but I just couldn't do it. I wanted to be blessed with boys AND my baby girl. Even though I believe I am blessed to have Harper in heaven, I wanted to be blessed with her here on Earth.

THANKFUL

THANKFUL

Thankful.

I know weird right? Sure, I miss Harper. Sure, I have been angry. Sure, I have pretended this didn’t happen. Sure, I have asked God to take me instead of Harper. Sure, I have been crushed by waves of grief and sadness. Sure, I have even had glimpses of some happiness. But right now I am thankful.

FATHER'S DAY 2018

FATHER'S DAY 2018

For my amazing husband, Eric, Father’s Day will never be the same. A holiday that is meant to honor him as the world’s best father, now feels ⅓ empty and dark. I’m sure Mother’s Day will soon feel the same way to me.

As christians, we understand full well that our children belong to the Lord. Our job on earth is to raise them to love Jesus and share the gospel with others, but they are only lent to us for a short time. I wish desperately that we would’ve had our “turn” with Harper, but Jesus wanted her for himself. I guess I can’t blame Him.

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

How are you doing?

This is a question that I have been asked often over the past few weeks. I am thankful for the friends/family I have in my life that care to even ask me that. I’m always the awkward type that never knows what to say in delicate situations-like the death of someone’s child. There are people who check in with me daily, weekly, and then some who I’m sure are thinking of me but never let me know it. I would be the type of person to fall into the latter category...I least I used to be.